1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
