that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
