He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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