Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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