2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
