I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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