he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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