Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
