Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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