yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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