im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
