Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
