He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
