just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
