Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
