Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
