so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
