Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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