yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
being pregnant is like rehab
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
