how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
