@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
