I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
