My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
