I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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