Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
