I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
