did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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