i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
