it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
