did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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