I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
