I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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