one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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