You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
