He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
