i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
