Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
