The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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