So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
