Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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