He told me they were just razor bumps!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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