Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
