You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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