i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
