Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
