??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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