Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
