I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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