My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
