Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
