2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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