Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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